Sunday, April 09, 2006

i have a son...............
actually i have 3 more but this blog is about jeremy. my first, my oldest. the child i grew up with. the one who dealt with more mistakes, inexperience and trial and error than all the others kids. i tell him he was for practice. he is 30. and a husband. and a father. and despite being raised by me, a good man. a very good man. he is always there when he is needed. always. no questions asked. maybe a giggle at some of the things i manage to get myself into but hey, he's allowed. he married heather at 22. just as i was going thru a divorce and hated the idea of marriage. i was not as nice as i could have been to heather back then. i regret that everyday . i love her as my own. i love that she loves my son, which can not be an easy thing. she is the mother of 3 of my grandchildren. first, second and sixth. heather is my friend. heather is my daughter. we tell secrets, she fumes, i fume, we laugh. we whine. we gambled once, it was fun. but mostly heather is..........heather. always there. always. jeremy is making a good life for his family. he has been with les scwhab for years. he will be an assistant manager soon with his own store. soon. 6 weeks. give or take. and he will have to move. ca,? oregon? idaho? too soon to know that. but away. he will take heather and my babies with him. there is no way for me to put into words the effect this will have on me. there are no words. i shake my head no everytime i think about it. but i don't get to vote. and yes this will happen. soon. whether i am ready or not. whether i like it or not. soon. do i want him to stay here? NO!!!! i want him to get out of here. it's no place to raise kids anymore. i want them all to have a good life away from here. did i say this was going to happen soon? i'm not ready. i won't be ready. i will support them, help them, plan with them and do whatever i need to do to help. anyway i can. but i won't be ready. hannah is 7 ( almost 8 grandma!) and they promised she could have email so i can talk to her whenever i want. or she wants. caden is 5 and will adjust fine to wherever they go. now enter nene. she is 23 months. and 1/2. lol.....ok she will be 2 next week. she just decided last week she is grandma's baby. grandma's girl. how do i let that go. how do i not let her forget me. that we play games. silly games and sing silly songs that i make up and noone else knows. i hope amber remembers how to play knock knock with her. this really isn't about me--poor me that is........but about life. and the changes it brings. everyday is a treasure and a wasted day can never be gotten back. so get off the internet, go hug your child, call them, hug a grandchild. tell someone you love them before today is over. tomorrow will bring a whole new day. but for today, be sure the ones you love, know they are loved

don't i know that one. hang in there Sara. letting them grow up is the hardest thing and the best thing you can do....and know that they will love you forever
Sara honey, I can't imagine what you are going through! My heart aches for you and what you are going to be going through, I am here for you always, always, always. You are an amazing woman, wife, mother, friend. Kisses and hugs for you my dear, dear friend. I love you! Brenda (who still doesn't know her identity)
What Brenda said.
Oh...Sara so sad to hear that they are moving away from you.
But......they will NEVER forget you. You can visit them. I is not the same. But you will always be the childrens loved grandma.
And what a great idea to let Hannah have her own email so she can talk to you whenever she need.

Lots of hugs to you, in this hard time for you.

Hope you will have a good easter whit your family.
Ditto on what Brenda and Norah have said, and Grete too. Just remember, you're not really losing them, and you'll still be able to keep contact, and from the sound of things, I'm sure they will be making special efforts to come see gramma as often as they can too. I'm sure they know they've got a good thing here and are probably wishing they could pack you up and take you with them! Lots of hugs of to you!
Sara, let me send you a BIG HUG!
I've had my boys 1000 miles away from me for almost a year -- it's so hard some days, but they have to use their wings.
Those babies won't forget their favorite grandma! Don't worry! And as your son becomes more successful, he can plan vacations for them to all come see you! Hang in there kiddo -- it's a new day!
~~ Lyn in Moab
thank you so much you guys. i love you all
sending hugs your way {{{Sara}}}. I can't speak for the kids growing up and them leaving home, but I can speak for my son chosing to live with his dad. It was one of the hardest things I ever did-to "let" him go. I knew in my heart though he was old enough and knew enough about the situation to chose. Do I miss him? Do I worry about him? Every single day that I wake up, I think about that boy. I never thought I would have my "baby" leave home so soon. I know it is a different situation but at the same time I still don't have my baby boy with me.
You keep your head up and keep smiling, they all know you love them and will miss them like crazy. You are a great person with a wonderful heart. Sending huggs for you. Jackie
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