Saturday, March 18, 2006

my own worst critic?

i suppose each of us can be of our own work. but is that a bad thing? i don't think so. i think ( don't you hate it when i do that) crocheting/knitting/crafting reflects life. not every day is so good that i want to do it over, but i still want to see what the next day has in store. not every item i make turns out the way i expect it to, yet i go on to another project, because i know some things turn out even better than i think they will and i think to myself WOW!!! i made that-i am crocheter!!!! and i am happy to wear it,carry it,gift it and feel good about it and me. i love that feeling. it's great. and to hear someone else oooohhh and aaaahhhh over it is even better. we all like to know we are good at something. appreciation, respect, envy, even jealousy of our work validates what we do and the time spent doing all of this brings me to the tractor afghan i have been working on for 3 weeks. it's done and i don't like it. at all. not one thing about's wider than i thought it would be ( and i swatched) the tractor is smaller than i thought it would be ( i thought the graph was kinda small) i couldn't get john deere green in a lighter weight yarn so i settled and it isn't right. it turned out more square than i thought so i added more rows,(and i swatched) now the tractor isn't centered--duh? so it's done. i will wash it, block it,give it away to the gal who requested it and be done with it. but i don't like it. i'm not proud of it, i'm not happy with it but........i hope she does. and i know amber will love it. it will be exactly what she wanted and i will get many hugs and thanks for it.but i will always know it wasn't my best work and i will always feel like i cheated her on a gift

You are right - we ARE our own worst critics! I know I put myself into a deep funk for awhile over my felted tote because of the error I made, and even though I managed to minimize it, the fact that it's still there will always bother me. Fortunately, it won't discourage me from trying again - and getting it right the next time, that's when our self-critisism can be a negative thing, if we allow it to stop us from trying again. I do hope you will post a picture of your tractor ghan so more objective eyes can see it too!

The Tibetan Buddhists always deliberately include some kind of imperfection in all of their handiworks, you know? The idea is to remind us of our humanity - and that the term shares a root with another "h" word: humility. It makes us better humans when we don't lose that - and humility is not a putting oneself down kind of thing, but staying "down to earth", connected. It's all good...
What Goldi said!
I think it turned out well. Don't be so critial of your work. :o)
I think you did a wonderful job and that you are wayyyyy too tough on yourself , Lady !!
Love ya,
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